Beyond Yummy Mommy: MILF is the New Black

My hands hovered on either side of my six-months-pregnant body, ready to catch the empty pop can that balanced in the middle. Through the tent of the maternity t-shirt I wore, I saw what I assumed was a heel kick on the right. The aluminum cylinder toppled obediently to the left and into my waiting hand.

I glanced again at the email sent from an old friend from high school. Specifically, I reread with more than a little pride a single sentence near the middle where he noted the sports team on which we both played followed by, "You're the one with the really hot body!"

My eyes traveled back to my belly and the path of a little foot kicking along the girth. I remember thinking that I still thought I was hot, even if not by society's usual standards.

Pride would surge again postpartum when another friend from the past saw my profile picture on a social networking site and exclaimed, "You look hot with a kid!"

I needed to hold both of these remarks, and more benign ones from local friends, dear to me in the months that ensued when the breastfeeding relationship stopped and so, apparently, did my metabolism.

This would be the most likely spot for my mental state to plummet to unfathomable depths as I realized that the only boys who would now find me hot would be, well, no one. I wouldn't want to hit the Pear from the Fruit of the Looms ads who happened to be staring back from my mirror.

Instead, I feel only a little bit of sadness. Motherhood has required me to completely reshape the way I think and respond to everything. That my body is also drastically different doesn't cause me alarm. It's just one more thing to remind me that I no longer recognize myself.

I don't expect to be regain my prepregnancy body any more than I think I can leave the house at a moment's notice for a round (or three or fifteen) of tequila shots at the local dive bar. I do, however, think it's perfectly reasonable to fit back into my size six jeans before this year is done.

That leaves a goal of 25 pounds in 12 weeks, or a little over two pounds per week. As always, though, the number on the scale is secondary to how my clothes fit.

Today is day one. By day 90, we will see if I can conclude my own personal Project MILF.